So you want to buy a home and you know the basics of buying.

You house hunt every weekend, you get your finances organised, you give and take with some agents, and maybe go to an auction or two.

Then, you see your dream home, buy it, move in and yes, while it's all a bi stressful, well, it's all pretty straightforward and doable, right?

Right?

Um, nope.

Nobody told me there'd be days (and months) like this

Don't get me wrong - buying a home is an excellent idea at any age.

As a very experienced and smart friend highlighted to me just this week: "You never really lose money on property".

Another great friend, who bought her first home during COVID, also told me recently that she doesn't regret her purchase - and that's despite considerable buying stress - because she'll be able to one day retire with a roof over her head and no one can kick her out.

Both trains of thought have really stuck with me - but so have all the multiple stressors that come with buying.

Second, third or fourth-time buyers will find the buying journey easier but for first-time buyers (FHBs) like me, the going is tough.

Indeed, when I realised this week that it was only seven weeks to Christmas, all I could think was, "Oh no! I don't have time for Christmas when I'm house-hunting."

This, and other similarly depressing moments, are the reason I knew I needed to write this blog - to help me, just as much as you!

How to beat the house-hunting blues

• Expect high stress and pressure

I've always had some idea buying was tough which is why I've held off buying for a long time.

But I'm now going to sleep and waking up worrying about buying issues - and not just because I'm a great worrier.

I know how important is it to keep calm about rising interest rates - after all, they were bound to go up sooner or later and they're still far lower than they were in my folks' buying times.

But they're still a worry when you're in the thick of buying.

It's also hard not to worry about the rising cost of living including increased energy bills.

Then there's the pressure from real estate agents eager for a great sale while in Brisbane at least, properties are being snapped up within a week of being listed.

And in more good news for FHBs: we're competing against people who have cash in hand (from a former sale), so even before entering the buying ring, we're a big step behind.

• Prepare for a long journey

It's tempting to buy the next house you see so you can put all this stress and pressure behind you.

One word: don't.

As another great friend told me recently (and she's bought and sold in both Brisbane and Melbourne, including being a landlord):

"You're going to make a lot of offers and lose a lot of houses you want before you finally buy.

"So, be ready for a long haul as this buying journey could take a year or two."

Not surprisingly, this was a very daunting, hide-beneath-the-bed moment for me - but one I need to know, all the same.

• Aim for persistence, calmness, and confidence
  

If you have a cautious real estate agent warning you that you must make an offer within 24 hours or you've lost your chance to buy a property (it has happened to me), you're definitely allowed to say, 'no thanks'.

The same goes with Sunday afternoon text messages from agents (although a friend has since told me that good agents do ring around potential buyers on Sundays, as those who wait until Monday can lose buyers to their opposition).

There's no need to be snarky in such moments but it's OK to be firmly quiet and calm about where you stand with a particular property or buying situation.

• Get your ducks in a row before making an offer

This is a big one - and follows on from the above point.

Your most important ducks - even before making a verbal offer - are pre-approvals, conveyancing, and building and pest inspections.

Or, in other words, all of these people and points must be organised and ready to rock and roll BEFORE making an offer.

Once you make an offer, all hell essentially breaks loose with real estate agents urging you for an as-high-as-possible offer from you - while you wait with bated breath and chewed-down nails for a positive vendor reply.

At the same time, you'll need to:

1. check the sales contract with your conveyancer
2. organise to have the house inspected for building and pest issues and
3. obtaining unconditional approval on your home loan via your mortgage broker or lender

• Set up a support network

Support networks are crucial, especially for FHBs, who will be at the mercy of their online research and savvy property people without one.

Have a few people in your support network who have bought or sold a property recently (ie within the last few years) and who know you well.

Don't be ashamed to throw them every question imaginable, including the stressors that make underneath the bed look highly tempting.

It's helpful if your networkers live in the area or city where you want to buy as they will then have a good idea about local property practices and rules - but it's not compulsory.

It's also just fine if your network includes people who know nothing about the market, as long as they have patience and love enough to listen to you cry and complain.

Just remember to offer all of your networkers forever free accommodation, coffee, wine, and meals in your new home!

My network has definitely proved absolutely invaluable and I know without a doubt I couldn't do this journey without their patience, experience, and general smarts.

One friend alone has been incredibly encouraging, with such words as:

"You will find something you will become attached to and love, I promise.

"I know it's stressful but it will all work out, you'll see."

• Give yourself time out

Another great one - but still hard for me, as per my earlier Christmas thoughts!

It's hard, I know, especially when your buying To Do list is growing daily but it's definitely worth it, even if you can only manage a Sunday afternoon off.

Girls, don't go house-hunting, or even think of buying, when you've got PMT (apologies to our male readers as this may be too much for you!)

But in good news: this advice means you're giving yourself a week off every month from buying stressors, and even guys will appreciate this rule of thumb.

Talking Christmas, I've already promised myself that I'm going to give myself three weeks off from all house-buying issues over this time, including the New Year.

Needless to say, I can't wait!

• Fix your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel

Yet another big one - and like your support network, it will keep you encouraged and inspired to keep on keeping on.

A good example (from just this last weekend): I finally saw a property I'd like to buy and that evening, I imagined myself buying a puppy and some pretty plants for the garden.

Then I imagined adding all my fixtures and fittings to the home and not having to climb up and down stairs to the laundry.

Plus, walking said puppy to the local shops and playing with him in the gardens and nearby park.

Even though I won't be making an offer on this particular property, every little light at the end of what often seems like a very dark tunnel helps.

Another great friend from my network said on the weekend:

"Having a home that's yours and that you can change, or do anything with, is amazing.

"I know it can be stressful but keep looking and inspecting and you'll get the 'This is it' feeling when you walk into the right property."

We’re here to help

We're always happy to help with all the dramas and stressors of house buying and selling.

And if you're particularly tired of house-hunting, we even have partnered with buyer advocates who can check out homes for you and organise sales assessments and negotiations.

Our off-market and pre-market marketplace gives you VIP access to properties so you can get in first.

Just sign up at Listing Loop or download our app.